You Get What You Put In... Period.

Ok - so I had weigh in yesterday ... back down to 2 weeks ago 188.5 ... BUT ... I could have done so much better than that! I have a tendency to do so well and then just kind of get lazy with trying and then get pissed at the slow weight loss which then turns into being discouraged and gets me that "why am I even trying" mentality.

The bottom freakin' line is - You get what you put in - I did great last week counting calories and running, then the weekend came and I let social outings turn into a free for all when there was no reason I couldn't have made better choices.

It started Friday with a birthday celebration for my older brother. My mom made lasagna and I kindly asked her to make a salad so I would have something "healthier" to eat - not only did she make me a salad she also made me a piece of grilled chicken and green beans - I ate that while everyone else ate lasagna and I felt great. I woke up Saturday morning weighing in at 186 - I did good during the week! Then Saturday came and we went out with some of the husbands friends from work - I have a very bad case of social anxiety, I freeze up, I don't know what to talk about and I end up being quiet and uninteresting. So I often turn to alcohol to help loosen up and enjoy myself - only problem is, once I get going I don't know when to stop. We went to a "vodka bar" with a drink menu that looked like I was ordering off the Cheesecake Factory Menu - it was massive ... so I just started going to town and about 10 drinks later I am sure I had drank a weeks worth of calories in one sitting.  Then Sunday came and we celebrated my youngest son's birthday (early) with my dad's side of the family. I bought a big cake with that wonderful buttercream icing and had no intentions on eating any - until I was cutting it and just couldn't resist. 

I did not run all weekend ... the fact that I even lost a pound and a half amazes me ... I also felt like crap Monday because of all the crap I had put into my body. 

So I started thinking today ... Why be upset with my results when I am only really half-assing this thing. It's been 4 weeks and I'm down 6.5 lbs ... What would happen if I just went balls to the walls and did this with everything I had in me? I know the results would be better. I know I would feel better. And then at least I could say it wasn't from lack of effort if the weight wasn't coming off.

I don't see why I can't just do this, become completely committed for 8 or 9 months, no exceptions, no "cheats", just 100% commitment until the weight is off and then and only then would I be able to relax a little with the way I eat ... what is 8 or 9 months out of my lifetime? - It's nothing! The "treats" and special foods will still be there, it is ok to say no to the foods I love, the world will NOT end!

I am done! I am done with the freakin teeter tottering of the scale, back and forth with the same 2 pounds ... It's time to make it or break it! Time to get it together.

This says it all!